Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Screaming to the Sky and Stuff

Have you ever screamed to the sky, hoping that God hears you? To me, that is always the point at which I truly turn my troubles over to God and let him handle them. I know as a Christian I am supposed to let go to God and know that he will handle things, but letting others be in control is not one of my strong points. Ask my husband. Or my boss. Or my mom.

Several years ago, my husband and I went through a challenging time, and I reached out to others for guidance, help, answers, but no one could help. It was going to be up to us to figure things out and I remember the day I screamed and cried the whole way home from work, asking God to help and lead us. The next week, we got answers and I knew he was listening. I'm not sure if it was because I was screaming, or if he finally knew I'd reached my point and that I truly was going to let him lead us from then on.

I wish I could be as passionate in my walk with the Lord as I am when I really need him. I don't want him to think I am a fair-weather follower. But I admit I need to do more with Christ in my life.

Right now, I'm not very happy with my church. I read about others online having wonderful time with their friends at church and experiences with church family and I'm just not getting that where I am now. We've recently lost our pastor and many of the people I was getting to know in our Sunday School class changed to a different class and there are only a few of us left.

I've been praying for God to lead me in the right direction and help me to find a new church home - I'm not screaming yet - but I know I've got to take the first step and get out there. I get so intimidated going to a new church for the first time. I grew up going to the same church my mother and grandparents and great-grandparents went to, so everything was so comfortable, everyone so welcoming.

So, this Sunday, I'm planning to visit a new church. I'm scared that Walker won't like the new place, I'll be nervous about meeting new people and not knowing where the sanctuary is. But I know I'll be making that first step, in a way, proving to God that I will meet him halfway if he will be there to take my hand and guide me through this new process, like he's always been there for me in the past.

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13 comments:

  1. I know exactly how you feel- when I was reading this i felt like i had written it myself. You are not alone, I too amd trying to fine my home church again.

    I love your blog too!! Keep the Southern spirit going strong! :)

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  2. I just need to go to church period, so feel accomplished!

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  3. Taking the first step is always the hardest. A good church will make you feel welcome the first time you visit.

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  4. I'll be thinking of you on Sunday. Finding the right place is hard. I too struggle making God the center of my life, I tend to take him for granted way too often.

    ps - that's a very pretty picture of you.

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  5. Uh - yeah...pretty much screaming. haha. I'm not a church-goer, though. Not my cup of tea. But I hope you find a church that's a good fit!

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  6. Delurking to admit that only ten minutes ago I told a friend that I was seriously thinking of screaming out loud....your post validated me...thanks for that...

    Leaving a church is like a divorce and starting over feels like a series of blind dates as you look for the right place...I hope you find beliefs in line with yours and people that you like....

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  7. What a great post Wendy. I too-struggle DAILY-giving him complete control. Dealing with stuff right now where I feel like daily, I ask God to just take over. I'm really good at asking but not so good at the letting go part yet :) I'm convinced this is part of my 'growing' process right now and I'm dealing with crap for the simple reason that He is trying to get me to finally understand I am not in control :) You'll find the right church..I do know that. We found a church that has a GREAT children's ministry and it just all fell into place from there. Visit lots of places and when you know, you'll know.
    xoxoxo
    Anna

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  8. keep truckin' girl.

    i'm amazed as He woos us to Him, even invites us to yell his way, to question, to fight--because in the end He's unshakable and we relish that we have Him to hold us under his wing.

    let it out to Him--"no good thing will he withhold from you."

    if david yelled out in the entirity of the psalms, praise Him that we can too :)

    i wish you the best as your look for a new church home and community!

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  9. Great post, I can completely relate, and I really enjoyed reading this.

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  10. I am in the EXACT same position. Ugh. But I am so happy to hear that you are trying new places. I have been doing research but I'm in between moves so it'll have to wait for the most part. It can be pretty intimidating to walk into a church you have never been to. Good luck on your search! And no matter what, God is always with you. I typically wear a little cross on a chain as a reminder every time I look in the mirror. It's a nice reminder between Sundays :)

    Have a wonderful weekend! Great blog!
    Beatriz.
    thatgirlinpearls.com

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  11. Finding a church is hard...praying you find one that helps you grow in your faith.

    sandy toe

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  12. Amen. I can definitely empathize. I so hope you're able to find a good church home.

    I'm on the same search myself; think I've found a place I like, but I still envy the people who have been going to the same place for years & have a group of church friends and support.

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